Saturday, June 28, 2008
it's my first night in amsterdam. i'm tired grotty and unimpressed. i'm also drunk and stoned. there are five of us in the dorm. an irishman (paddy? i think so. we'll call him paddy) who is in the same state as me. two english girls who have eaten two boxes of mushrooms each and aren't on the planet anymore. and one argentinian who i am ready to kill. it will not be a pretty death. and after he is dead, i will parade his body through the streets. it is 3 a.m.
what happened was this: Paddy and I went for one beer ('just one mind, i have to be in jerusalem tomorrow!') typically this turned into three beers, and before i knew it i had a joint in my hand and wasn't as pissed off with amsterdam as i had been previously. Paddy and i were talking about how Irish politics are deeply linked to Judaism. then this big hairy thing sits infront of us and starts talking in a thick south american accent. Paddy scowls and refuses to relinquish the joint. i can't understand a word either of them is saying, so i meander up to the bar for a refill. there i bump into an icelandic couple who have taken too much LSD and are paranoid about polar bears. they say this with such straight faces that for a moment i too am paranoid about polar bears, before i return to Paddy and Hairyman, when i become paranoid about hairy South Americans. i manage to make out that this guy is a teetotaller who is trying to get to Barcelona but keeps missing his flight as he does not have a watch. Paddy inerjects - he is going to get food, do i want some? i nod and the irishman saunters off. i am stuck with the two icelandic paranoids and Hairyman. he tells me that 'when i was 20 i took california for one year. i try everything. everything except the sex'. i have another beer. Paddy eventually comes back. no food, but he has had a shower and changed his clothes. i persaude him to take me out for pizza. we try to convince the waiter to pay for us. Paddy says he wont kiss him if he pays our bill. we get a discount, i think.
its about 1am before we throw ourselves up the stairs. i have never been this stoned in my life and am convinced that the best thing to do is open a vegan commune in sydney called something pretentious. Paddy promises to visit and bake food for it. neither of us are vegans. when we get into our room, our shins are bruised beyond belief - victims of the cliffs that amsterdam likes to call stairs. we find the two english girls lying on the hostel floor giggling helplessly at the pretty things they are seeing. one of them proclaims over and over that she 'is in such a state' Paddy passes out on the floor too. i manage to make it into bed. the argentinian is already asleep, fully clothed on top of the covers in the bed opposite mine. someone (me? i dont know) hits the light and we all drift off.
until this colossal snoring wakes us up!! the walls were shaking and the english girls trips were suddeny not as pretty. i resolved to kill whoever was snoring. it would be a shame if it was Paddy, he seemed like a nice guy. the snores got louder and louder and louder. then, oddly, they were interrupted by a stream of spanish. that was it. i was going to have to kill the argentinian. it would be an international crime, but i was willing to do so in order to get some sleep.
the snores started up again, but five minutes later i was hit in the face by a pair of jeans. i floundered and swore and sat up, throwing the pants on one of the english girls. there was a second thump - the argentinian throwing his shirt onto Paddy's sleeping face. i found myself looking at a naked sleeping argentinian. well. not all of him was sleeping. one part of him was very awake. i curled up in a ball and tried to think happy thoughts of bunnies and other innocent things. the snoring had stopped at least.
but when he started panting and whimpering 'mama, mama' i wanted to ask him if he'd mind snoring again. he got louder and louder and faster and faster and i was lying two metres away shaking with rage and anger. finally he let out one final drawn out 'mamaaaaaa!'
it was at this point Paddy woke up 'aw, for fucks sake! heathen!' i made a run for it, back downstairs to the bar. i sat there laughing for half an hour before noticing the icelandic couple. the girl was asleep but the boy was rolling up. he offered and i told him what had happened. there were tears streaming down our faces when Paddy stormed into the bar 'that's the third fucking time this week! i'm putting that bastard on his fucking plane to barcelona tomorrow whether he has a fucking watch or not!!!'
the icelander placated Paddy with pot and beer. i was already pretty placid, but not going to say no to another pint. we stayed down there for a few hours, talking, smoking, Paddy occasionally shouting abuse in the direction of our room. i went to sleep with my head on the table for an hour, i think. Paddy went to get food but had a shower and changed his shirt instead. when the sun came up, i went back upstairs to get my stuff. the argentinian was still naked but face down, hairy backside greeting the world. i grabbed my things and left. Paddy gave me some philosophical words as i went out the door 'you get some strange fuckers in amsterdam'
i nodded, and went to meet my grandparents.
Friday, June 27, 2008
the casemates was pretty awe inspiring- its the ruins of a castle called 'Um Bock' and its crypts. very very very old and very small. i've got some pretty cool photos, will upload them when i get back. everything here is really pretty. the art musuem was interesting, but i'm over looking at things at the moment. after the BA, V&A, NPG, NG, Van Gogh and Rikjsmuseum i think i deserve a break.
in the afternoon i was sitting in the park near the hostel when a small boy came up to me and said something in french. i blinked at him, and he repeated his request in english 'would you play football with me madamioslle?' there was no one else in the park except for this boy and his mum, who was busy with a baby of some sort. so i agreed and we kicked the ball around. that must be some sort of code in Luxembourg, because before i could explain that i have no football skills whatsoever, more kids (from about 7-15) turned up and suddenly we had teams!! we played for ages and i couldnt tell you who won or lost, only that it was fun, and they were very nice to me, and seemed pleased that i had a french name. the boy who initally came up to me was called Jorges, but his mother called him Monsueir Petite. very cute.
it doesn't get dark here until about ten pm, so once i had had dinner and read some of my book, i was a bit bored. then i discovered that the Russia vs Spain match was on. i have become a football convert, i'm terribly sorry. it started the night before last when i watched Germany beat Turkey in the German pub around the corner. it was fantastic, not only because the bartender was terribly drunk with jubilitation and therefore gave me free beer, but also because the Germans are very very friendly and happy to explain the game to me. the final match is Germany vs Spain on Sunday. Germany better win.
and then i offended the irish catholic girl in my dorm. mostly because i dropped my book on my foot and swore 'jesus fuck' but also because i refused her invite to go to church with her on sundaz. she doesn't seem to understand that i am going to be back in the uk on saturday afternoon.
yes, i'm going back to the UK. i think that i'll go up to the lake district, or to the cotswalds. i want to rent a bike and zip around little pubs and read three men in a boat again. i want to see a cricket match, and maybe a football match. i want to go to oxford. i want to find my feet in a country where i don't have a language barrier before i try europe again. the past week has been a very steep learning curve, in that i've discovered how shy i can be but also how desperate for attention and companionship i am.
i've been reading the three musketeers again. for the umpteenth time. its my favourite classic because its an adventure. its friendship. its family. its everything that i don't have nearby at the moment. its an adequate replacement, i guess. the new coldplay album is also surprisingly good. im going to get the new sigur ros album on sunday. expect more ranting then.
(sorry for typos, these keyboards are very different)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
im disappointed in me.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
i keep having these horrid reality checks, and i keep thinking that maybe it would be easier and nicer to run home with my tail between my legs right now. good thing i've never really liked making things easy on myself.
on the train from the airport to centraal there was a german shephard asleep under the seats.
i have to go and sort out my phone.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
There are a few reasons why this song is pretty awesome.
1. It has a long introduction - it's not until about 4:33 that Ben Gibbard starts singing. This is a Good Thing.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
my main gripe with sydney is that it's alot like paris hilton - technically pretty, but icy. and kind of weird - you know there's got to be some sort of hidden depth but fucked if you can work out how to access it. my opinion of london so far is that its a lot like kylie minouge - warm and welcoming and sparkling, but boy, you have to work hard to get some meaning out of it.
i want to write on this blog the way i did on my old one, but the idea of doing that freaks me out a bit.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
A Black dress that smells like Indian food from last night.
Ankle boots that will reach the end of their usefulness when I reach London.
Campbell's Soupcan Dress
Red Plaid Plath Skirt
Green Schoolgirl Skirt
So many many many stockings
Rainbow Paddlepop Scarf (knitted by Laura)
The Piano Teacher
Life: A User's Manual
Jonathon Strange & Mr Norrell
And The Ass Saw The Angel
(see profile for details)
Every single Editors song and remix I could get my paws on.
Fuji FinePix (nicknamed "The Hot Shot")
Jacques The Emo Bear
One very very very very very very very very very very nervous and excited Maddie Barton
Saturday, June 7, 2008
my farewell-slash-twentieth birthday party was last night. it went down like the titanic - lots of screaming, drinking and denial. screams and hoots of "i can't believe you're leaving!" & "i can't believe i'm leaving!" & "oh my god! i know!" followed by "quick, my glass is nearly empty!" and eventually. well. eventually dancing. (see photographic evidence - me the short one, libby the tall one)
the idea of parties never exactly thrill me, because it inevitably means cleaning. however emma and i stumbled on what it probably a tried and true method of cleaning up after a party - continue to drink! i noticed this morning that i had been savaged by an unknown kitchen appliance. my finger hurts.
so now its getting closer to lift off, and i'm terrified, i'm petrified, i'm not even excited anymore. this all seems too big, too badly organised, too slapdash.
SIGUR ROS IN VIENNA!!!!!!
so it won't be all bad.
and i've been told i have to make this a music blog, not a whiny blog, so.
bands that are, for want of a better word, totally kicking it right now.
1. The Joy Formidable
2. Orphans And Vandals
3. Her Name Is Calla
4. Tim Steward
5. Bark Cat Bark (technically not a band, but his remixes are amazing)
i'm so drained right now - the hangover hung around all day, kicked me twice as hard when i realised that i had to pack, and then was mollified by indian food - the restaurant organised a cake for me! and now i still haven't finished packing my toiletries, and the thought that i'm leaving the country in a little over twelve hours has got me twitching.
and yeah, it's my birthday now, and people think its fabulous to rub that in. there are some sick fucks in this country, people who tried to get under my skin and worm past my ribcage. lucky me, i've got one hell of a bile duct. there's no room for fuck ups and betrayals in this game i'm playing. so, yeah, it's my birthday and we haven't spoken for sixth months, and if things could stay that way, i'd be as close to content as i've ever been. because in this game i'm playing, you aren't even on the board anymore.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
i was supposed to leave on my birthday (a design to help me avoid the damn thing) but my own self destructive nature put a stop to that. i'm not even nervous about going anymore. not even excited. completely apathetic, which is disappointing.
disappointment is the worst thing in the world.
people think that i talk a lot of shit, and they're right. i rarely go through with anything, and when i do, people are a little surprised. they like it when i fuck up, its a regular thing to rely on, especially when i'm so unreliable. and now, now they're all expecting this, even if they won't ever say it out loud. and thats what really tears at me. the fact that they all knew i'd fuck this one up, and they were all just waiting for it to happen.
i dont even want to go anymore. seriously.