convincing

"don't write anything too angsty." my father tells me. so here's my attempt to tell you all what i've been doing, angst free. i won't tell you how homesick i am, how sick of snoring i am. i'm not going to write about my passport paranoia or my headaches. i won't write about how antisocial i'm becoming. oops. instead i'll tell you that i'm learning alot about myself, primarily that introspection is boring and that if i never see vegetable soup again it'll still be too soon, that i'm quite happy in the countryside traipsing through fields and startling sheep. i'm learning that cities are pretty much all the same. i'll tell you about my big Glaswegian indulgence - a genuine lace 1950s navy dress that makes me look fantastic (considering i didn't buy anything in Edinburgh, barely even food, and also because i didn't meet Sean Biggerstaff, i rather thought i deserved to spend £20 pounds on it) (also, i was running out of clean clothes) i'll tell you that my favourite song at the moment is "June On The West Coast" by Bright Eyes because of the mumbling and the stories and the solitary nature. i'll tell you that i'm doing my best no tto buy a hideously glaringly bright pair of reeboks, that the unicorn dress i saw in Edinburgh doesn't look as good as i thought now that i've seen it in every city i've been to. i went to the Hacienda Club where Ian Curtis and the rest of Factory used to muck about. i'm thinking that i want to learn guitar, that maybe i should buy an acoustic one and be a troubadour. i'll tell you about how every hostel i've stayed in has been playing Top Gear, and that i've now seen the North Pole episode 5 times. i have developed a love of sour skittles, a hatred of lucozade (it was the only thing i could keep down for three days). i have danced with a crazy Melbourne girl in the GOMA. i have played chess with Canadians, and won. i have done my best not to be rude to a self absorbed film director. i have finally read "the naked lunch" (and been underwhelmed.) i've learnt to identify (and avoid) Americans. i've climbed to the top of the phenomenal Arthur's Seat (and been sick). i've been mothered by the lovely Lorna and taken in by the darling Gerry & Jenny. i've pushed myself and bullied myself. i've tried my hardest not to drown in introspection, not to be pretentious and self centred. i've forgiven Irvine Welsh for how boring his new book (Crime) is. it feels like i've not done a lot. it feels like i've done heaps. i dunno. i am having fun, honest. it's just i make contact when i'm feeling low. i'm not ready to stop yet.

there dad, was that ok???

xx
From Bre:
Hey maddie! got your text. here's a list of stuff you can do:
chase ghosts - did that in Edinburgh. the ghost of Deacon Brodie nearly wet himself when he saw me.
open mic at a pub - planning on going to one in Cardiff
get naked in a shopping mall - does trying on new bras count?
pretend that the madeline show was made after you and you really are a french orphan (she was ab orphan right?) - funny that, i bought a navy dress. madeline wore navy. i'll start faking a french accent.
shoplift - i steal postcards. they're free, but i have a moral code to abide by.
stencil shit in manchester banksy style - i drew all over brendon uries face, as practice. will steal some charcoal and leave poignant but utterly useless comments everywhere.
dance in a manchester club (without taking any drugs) - done, even though the club was closed and it was daytime. dancing in art galleries is more fun - people ask you if you're a performance artist.
get a stupid tattoo - according to everyone over 40, i've already got two.
make a stop motion film with your camera that's dedicated to your dog - working on it. its going to be very existential. or existcanine. something like that. so far i've got lots of footage of trainlines. maybe i should find Spike some bones.
eat a crazycow-meat burger - did so in Manchester - oh, beetroot!!!!!


if anyone else has suggestions, they're very welcome.

xx

Playing: Lots of Bright Eyes and Man Plus.
Reading: Bret Easton Ellis and Alexandre Dumas
Staying: with the wonderful Gerry & Jenny in Sutton Colfield, which is outside of the Birmingham bustle
Going: to Stratford Upon Avon tomorrow, Cardiff on Saturday